I think probably my biggest problem has always been that I compare myself to others too much and it intimidates me. I just feel that others' artwork is so much better than mine, or else I really love everyone else's artwork, but really don't like mine.
I dabbled for a short while in oils. I liked the result, but the preparation and cleanup was just really exhausting for me. When I think back on it, that was probably because I was working full time 5 days a week and then going to art class one night a week for about 5 hours. By the time class was over and I had cleaned everything up I was feeling really grumpy and out of sorts. I would go home just exhausted and practically fall into bed with my clothes on. There is one piece of artwork that absolutely hated when I was creating it, but after taking some time away from it and going back, I know realize that I really love it. I don't know what type of art we were trying to duplicate in the class, but looking back on this, it must have been cubism.
I kept thinking that I really wanted to make art, but if it was going to tired me out like that and make me grumpy, then maybe oils should not be my medium of choice. Watercolors are alot easier because of cleanup, but they are not necessarily easier when painting. I guess when I'm painting I like alot of control and watercolors don't give me that, plus I've realized that when it comes to art I'm just a perfectionist and you can't really be like that when painting. I keep trying to adopt Bob Ross's attitude that "We don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents." I really wish I had that attitude, but I just don't.
I really envy artists who can just take their watercolors with them on a walk or a hike and when they find a pretty scene, can just sit down and start painting it. And, for a real artist, it doesn't even take fancy, expensive watercolors. I've seen gallery quality artwork made from children's watercolors. That is the test of a true artist. For some reason, I've never been able to do that. It must be that control thing again. I would love to possess the freedom to just do it and not worry about the outcome.
I know that I have a creative heart. I love the arts and creating things too much to not have it. I just think I've been searching for the right outlet to express my creativity. I still don't feel like I've really found it yet. I've experimented with creating all kinds of art and crafts. I've knitted, crocheted and quilted too; and, yes, I feel these things are all considered art.
When I was working full time, a lot of my coworkers admired my artistic ability. I don't even feel like I have artistic ability. I've just managed to make a few things of art that have come out ok and that others have admired and mostly because they, themselves, feel that they didn't have the talent to do the same thing. Everyone has a talent and ability to make art or do anything that they want to do. Sometimes they just don't have the confidence to try it. I'll try just about anything related to art. The worst that can happen is that it will go "tits up", as my husband says. We always get a good laugh out of that.
